The Sweet Taste of Freedom

When we first arrived in Israel we were a little intimidated by what we saw. This part of the world isn't exactly known for it's friendliness, and with us being Americans and Christians, we didn't feel very safe. For these reasons and for others that only my husband could know, he decided to keep us locked up in the house when we were not with him. I do not resent him at all for this because I know that he is doing what he thinks is best. After all, it is his job to keep us safe and I feel very loved for him doing that. Now that we've been here for 2 months we're starting to become more familiar with our surroundings and the local people, and we're getting much more comfortable. My husband has decided that it would be fine if the kids and I take short walks during the day down to a small playground on our street. Today was the first day that we have ventured out and it felt wonderful!! The playground however was not so thrilling. There was one preschooler-sized slide that was made up of rusted metal and rotten wood covered in bird droppings -- fun -- and there was a small merry-go-round in the same condition. I don't like getting dirty, but I'm trying to learn to let go and remember that my kids are washable, so I let them have some fun. They wisely stayed on the merry-go-round, which was one of those that had seats and the "steering wheel" in the middle so they could turn themselves. They had so much fun! They kept yelling, "Thank you, Mommy, for taking us here!" My daughter even thought to say, "I'll have to tell Daddy thank you for letting us go!" It's amazing how grateful children become when you take everything away for a while.

Today was a good day in many ways. Besides having freedom in our surroundings, I found freedom from some other issues that I've been facing. I hate to admit it, but I have problems with food. Always have. Whenever I would confront myself with this I would make some excuse to shift the blame. But I realized something yesterday. I had to ask myself, "Why do I eat?" Besides hunger, I usually eat for emotional reasons, like many people. Stress --eat, sadness --eat, happy --eat, bored --you get the idea. As I was thinking this the very clear answer hit me. Where am I supposed to turn in emotional times? Of course, to the Lord. He is there waiting to calm me when I am stressed, comfort me when I am sad, rejoice with me when I am happy, & talk with me when I am bored. All of these years I have been missing this fellowship with the Lord and spending my time with food instead. Today I have spent a day of fasting and fellowship with my Savior and it has been sweeter than any food could be. That's not to say that I have "arrived" or gained victory over this area in my life. But I would consider this a step in the right direction and I was very glad to take it. I pray for the strength to continue to lean on the Lord instead of myself and the trappings of this world. Yes, my friends, God is good!