Being Content

I have noticed recently that Satan has been trying to attack me from many different angles about "keeping up appearances", or in other words, looking like the world says I should look.

The first attack was about my hair. I first started getting gray when I was 18; just a few strands. But recently I've noticed that my small patch of gray isn't so small anymore. It's a good thing my hair is on the light side; that helps it to blend in. I have no fear of getting older, or even looking my age...but I'm only 29! I have debated with myself whether or not to dye my hair; not to a different color, just something to get rid of the gray but keep my natural hue. But then my mind drifted off to all of the money spent on dye, the damage it would do to my hair....and most of all....the reasons for doing it in the first place. Who am I trying to please? My husband is happy with me the way I am --- that's good enough for me!
The next attack came when I went for an annual medical exam. My nurse referred me to a dermatologist about my acne. I honestly didn't think it was that bad, but when someone sends you to get "help", and you didn't even ask for it....it makes you wonder. I was excited at first, about the prospect of having clear skin....I don't think I even remember what that was like. I went to see the dermatologist last week at a swanky clinic that mainly deals in things such as laser surgeries and Botox. The medical regulations here are much more relaxed than in the U.S. and so this doctor had no problem in prescribing a very strong medication, practically upon entering his office. He barely asked me any questions, and didn't run any tests. This particular medication has very strict regulations in the U.S. because it is SO powerful, and has some major side effects. Even here, I would have to get monthly blood tests to check for things like liver damage, and a list of other do's and don'ts to be careful of. After prayer, and consulting my husband about it, we decided that it just wasn't worth the risk involved. I can deal with a few blemishes and scars on my face --- they'll just keep me humble ;)
My third attack was yesterday. My husband is currently in a high profile position and we "rub elbows" with some pretty important people (at least by the world's standards). Yesterday we all went to lunch together. As the driver was taking all of us to the restaurant, I had a good chance to observe the other ladies from my seat in the back of the van. I found myself comparing myself to them. "Look at her hair; wow that's fashionable and pretty. - Mine sure is plain and simple" "What nice, expensive looking clothing. - I made my dress myself; they probably think I look frumpy" "Designer bag, lots of gold and diamonds, fancy perfume. - Old purse, Seiko watch, and ?perfume?" But my thoughts quickly came back to the reality of the situation. I may not be a fashion plate, but these people all know that I am a Christian by my "uniform", and hopefully also by my demeanor and by my well-behaved children. As they were discussing the latest psychology class they took, their travels to exotic places, or their big parties, my only input for the conversation was about homeschooling, cooking, & sewing. But I couldn't help but sense a certain longing from them to be in my place.
My final temptation was quick and fleeting. Everyone is in town now for a big birthday celebration we're having. I'm expected to go, but we do not know anyone here that we trust to watch our children....and that's the end of the story with me. I don't leave my kids with just anyone....especially for a purely selfish reason. So, I'm not going. One of the ladies, who is very sweet, proposed an offer to me. She has come here from the UAE, and I had agreed to watch her child so she could attend this celebration. She told me yesterday that she would like to stay behind and watch all the kids so that I can go to this party. Her exact words still ring in my head, "I can dress you up like a Cinderella." I'm still not sure how to take that one.....my first reaction was that she wanted to take me out of my "frumpy" state and make me look "beautiful". Although I know her intentions were good, I had to politely decline her offer. I honestly don't want to go at all. But for a moment, the thought of being transformed into a "beauty" (of the world's standards) was appealing. But that thought only lasted about 5 seconds.
Now, while I am definitely not saying that I couldn't use a little self-improvement, my final thoughts were clear. Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have... Hebrews 13:5