Thank You For Coming To My Party

My pity party, that is. My last post wasn't intended to turn out that way, but in hindsight I can see that's what it became. I could easily delete it and pretend it never happened, but I think I'll keep it there.... it's humbling. Not that there's anything wrong with having alone time. Alone time is a good thing. We do need alone time... with the LORD. I love how Grafted Branch pointed out in her comment the difference between 'alone time' and 'me time'... so true. Your comments helped me to see the ways that I can and do get that alone time that I need. I do wake up earlier than the rest of the household, and I do make the kids have their own quiet time when I need some as well. I guess my focus had been more on the "getting away" part of alone time. The way our circumstances are right now, getting away is very difficult, and I have got to learn to accept that. My good friend Laura helped me tremendously in an e-mail. She said many wise things, but this helped the most, "...if we get into the mindset of 'all I need to feel better is to get away', then soon that is the only way we think things can get better, you know? If we want after the things we can't have it can breed a lot of frustration." Laura knows all the details of my situation, and she knows me very well personally, so there's no doubt she could see into what was really going on with me. And she was so right! Getting away is not a bad thing, but I need to be careful to keep my focus on GOD as my refresher, not on getting away to be refreshed. I think Hebrews 13:5 is the perfect verse here. "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." That sums it all up. In wanting something that I can't have, I was being covetous, and discontent with what God has given me. Instead I need to rest on his promise that he will never leave me nor forsake me and let HIM bring the peace that I need. And that is what I have focused on doing since this 'revelation'. I already feel much better! I might still be able to sneak out for a little get away in the near future, but I'm no longer looking to that as what I need. I know now that I have all that I need, and his name is Jesus.

On a side note..... Praise the Lord, while I was writing this my daughter was showing signs of the same grumpy attitude. I told her what I had been feeling and what the Lord had showed me. Now she also has a smile on her face and we are going to work together to be content with what God has given us... after all, he always gives us his best :)